How to Have a Personal Connection with God 

I believe that one of the collective goals of humanity is and has always been to seek the sanctuary of love, support, guidance and wisdom within us that is the birthright and true soul desire of every human being. 

If the promises of many of the world religions are correct, then oneness with the eternal and sublime spirit, which is called by many names, including God, is the most normal condition one human being could have.  Science has already proven that this spirit-energy is in us and everything in the universe.

And if our destiny is to grow into far more conscious and aware creatures than we are—which the world desperately needs now—this definitely means we need to have the chains that bind us broken so that we can continue to grow spiritually. It has long been assumed by many people that this will happen automatically if they daily following the dictates of their chosen beliefs. I do not believe that.

From my own experience and from observing the world at large it obviously takes more than observing rote rituals and penances.  It is more than obvious that the bulk of humanity is still at odds with itself and with the spiritual side of our natures.

However, the few people in modern times who have made this connection with their inner selves have deemed it the most important event of their lives, and they have shared it with others through the spoken and written word.  When something so wonderful occurs it is surely the responsibility of any individual to let the rest of the world know about it.  In this way we can be reminded that communion with God did not end in biblical times.

I am well aware of the criticism that might meet the apparent arrogance of an individual claiming to have communion with God. But what a loss to the world this would be if we never advanced spiritually because of fear of criticism. 

I am an ordinary human being who now knows that this is truly the birthright of every human being and awaits only a flash of inspiration, motivation, or in my case desperation, that will move you to open to the most incredible experience of your life.

This is why I am writing this article, and why I wrote the book, Your Heart Knows the Way - How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within.

During the lengthy decline and death of my husband, I knew beyond knowing that there was a more loving, enlightened and life affirming way to accompany him on his last life journey.  I had never heard or read about such a way, but I was determined to find it.

After four years of trying to do it by myself, using sheer energy and force of will, I discovered this wasn't possible.  I was also deeply disappointed, frustrated and mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.

A continuing series of emotionally draining experiences with my husband, who was then in an assisted living home, brought me to my knees in abject surrender.  I turned within as a last resort seeking a personal connection, a personal communion with God.

 I had been journaling daily for several decades and naturally continued this process.  I would write out all my cares and concerns to God and wait for a few minutes for a response of some kind.  When there was no burning bush or any other immediate sign of success I did what I had done all my life: I went out to try to do it myself.

This time I was determined that I would not fail.   I had retired in order to spend more time with my husband and with my elderly mother, who was also dying.  I didn"t have to watch the clock. I could spend as much time as desired in the process of praying, meditating and journaling.

I had not been indoctrinated from childhood in any specific religious beliefs because my parents had been so "churched” by their own families that they decided to forego all ties with organized religion when they married.

This meant that at an early age I was free to follow my heart, soul and inner wisdom.  It also meant that for a lot of my life I didn’t fit in with family or friends because I was seeking a personal relationship with God and not a belief system.  It was lonely and frustrating, but I never gave up on seeking this connection.

A defining event occurred when I was 10-years old.  My best friend, Mary, came to school one day and started telling me about her grandmother’s death the night before.  She said her grandmother called all the family together in her hospital room and told each one how much they had meant to her—smiled warmly and said, “Now go home.  I’m going home.”

I noticed in the coming weeks and months the grace-filled and loving affect this had on Mary’s family.  This sacred and profound experience planted a seed that set me on a lifelong quest to experience this kind of death with someone.

In my family death was talked about in hushed tones, and only by adults.  It was believed that talking about death would draw it to our family.

When my father was dying in 1982 I seriously considered broaching the subject with him, but his lifelong beliefs about death and dying were still strong and he was so fragile that I decided against it. 

Four years later when my older sister was dying of cancer, I tried again, but she would not allow any conversation that had to do with death and dying because in her newly-embraced belief system she could determine her life by monitoring her thoughts.  I came from a large family and she had been both sister and mother to me, and I was never able to tell her how much I loved and appreciated her.  Years later when my younger brother was dying we were able to talk about his impending death, but not in the way I yearned for.

At the same time the situation arose with my husband, my mother was also dying, and as I said before, I knew beyond knowing that there was a different way in which to approach helping my beloveds through their final life journey.

My usual practice included not only prayer, meditation and journaling but much crying, pleading, begging and then giving up and going out to do it myself.  One day my daughter loaned me a book titled Secrets of the Vine, and it was evident that I needed to change my routine. I realized that this time within was to be spent in sharing all my concerns as I would with a dear friend who desired my highest and best good in every area of my life.  I made a commitment to devote my life to doing this.

The more I committed to spending time within, the stronger became my intention to have this communion.  One day after experiencing a traumatic time with Ken [in which he wanted me to make all the preparations for his wedding to a 21-year old caregiver whose name he couldn’t remember] I cried all the way home. 

I went directly to my meditation chair and then fell to my knees in abject surrender. I was devoid of words to say or prayers to pray, I just sobbed uncontrollably.  This was the heaviest weight of despair and desperation I had every experienced.

When the emotions subsided, I returned to my chair, picked up the journal and wrote out these words with great passion: I will never give up, I will never give in.

During the next month, I noticed that while my resolve to have this communion remained unwavering, I was far more content in being within.  I no longer felt the disappointment when there was no immediate response, and was able to spend an extended period of time in prayers for my husband, myself, family, the world and the earth. 

For the first time the period of being within seemed especially natural and attractive, and I gloried in spending time within this peaceful and loving space.

One day I wrote out this impassioned plea:  I want a personal relationship with you.  I don’t know how to do this.  I don’t know how to discipline myself to this.  How does an ordinary human being have a relationship with God? 

Immediately the following words filled my mind and I wrote them down in my journal: 

“Fern, Fern, Fern! The fact is you have it, you have always had it, yet allowing yourself to experience it is another thing altogether.  Try affirming that you have it, and live knowing that you have it!  Proclaim it and live it!” 

This was an incredible turning point. For the last three years of my husband’s life I received the daily support, guidance and love that changed our experience and my life forever. 

While my interactions with my mother were also guided, she had receded totally into Alzheimer’s or senile dementia and I could not tell if it had any reaction within her.  It certainly did within me.

What I learned is very simple but obviously not easy, or millions of other people around the world would be proclaiming this blessed connection.

  From my experience I learned that it takes a true heart’s desire and an unwavering intention to have communion with God.  It requires discipline and the willingness to go within each day; to wait in the stillness, to listen—and to be willing to do this for as long as it takes.

In my journey I was led to open my mind and heart to the tender love and liberating wisdom that is everyone’s birthright.  I discovered the sanctuary within each of us where in spite of the mental, emotional, physical events and traumas of our lives there is the love we all seek, as well as peace, guidance, joy, wisdom and trust in life. 

In surrendering to love, we connect with the truth of who we really are, and touch the eternal and sublime something called God.

"Love is the awareness of being one with God"

Ten Steps to a Personal Connection with God

  1. You must have a true heart’s desire.
  2. You must have unwavering determination to never give up and never give in.
  3. You must be willing each day to go within, wait in the silence, listen, and be disciplined enough to do this for as long as it takes.
  4. Trust your heart – it knows the way and has all the discernment you will need.
  5. Your intention to have this connection places you in immediate alignment with your soul’s highest desire for you. You will be guided; you can depend on it.
  6. Know that what God desires for you will be in perfect harmony with what you desire for yourself at a soul level.
  7. The process requires conscious awareness, a conscious desire to follow the guidance and a conscious decision to make time and space for the process.
  8. Chances are you will be asked to stretch and grow spiritually. Have the courage to do this, as it is the opportunity of a lifetime.
  9. Persevere. Persevere. Persevere. Never give up. Never give in.
  10. Claim your birthright and have the courage to live as the fully conscious spiritual being you were born to be.

Connect With God
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